Thursday, February 1, 2018
What Can I Do Differently?
... But it's the Other guy who has the Problem!
The purpose of this blog is to talk about organizational issues that frustrate us - or even make us angry - in a constructive way. One big topic is 'the bad boss'. Holding a grudge over a 'bad boss' helps no one.
We experience challenges daily and many of these are people-related. We have expectations: some are common and known by many. Some are blind to us until we experience something that awakens a beast inside us that demands some justice because 'that was wrong'.
And this 'rage' can spread to other parts of life, or may already exist there. We don't always know without some kind of therapy, maybe, or some real reflection on what triggers our responses. There may be medical reasons, but this isn't a clinic.
So in our discussion about these organizational (social) issues that bother us, we want to accomplish a couple things.
1. We are allowed to describe what is happening that causes us to be 'angry'.
2. We aren't allowed to rant about what makes us angry without also including some idea of:
a. what we think might be contributing to the problem, and
b. what can I (meaning YOU if you are the poster of the description of your anger) DO to help the situation
Many things that frustrate us may be accidental by the purported perpetrator! Just as our own angry response may be somewhat surprising to us. We don't intend to blow up and may even be disappointed when we do.
So, at the end of each day, if I can look at myself - not to find blame OR excuse for my response to some difficult situation - and reflect on how I might be able to respond differently to a person or a situation, then I can make progress with the only person I can really control!
We can give ourselves and one another the 'benefit of the doubt' without trying to assign 'cause' for everything (eg. he looked at me funny so he must have been laughing inside about the way I look or dress or talk). See how we can make stuff up in our minds when we really do have absolutely NO IDEA what is happening?!
Here goes - let's see what we can learn about our 'Accidental Anger', presuming some level of innocence in our responses, until proven otherwise - but that is left for another blog. And while I say 'we', I'll share regularly things that I am learning about and invite others to participate in the conversation!
Peace, B
We experience challenges daily and many of these are people-related. We have expectations: some are common and known by many. Some are blind to us until we experience something that awakens a beast inside us that demands some justice because 'that was wrong'.
And this 'rage' can spread to other parts of life, or may already exist there. We don't always know without some kind of therapy, maybe, or some real reflection on what triggers our responses. There may be medical reasons, but this isn't a clinic.
So in our discussion about these organizational (social) issues that bother us, we want to accomplish a couple things.
1. We are allowed to describe what is happening that causes us to be 'angry'.
2. We aren't allowed to rant about what makes us angry without also including some idea of:
a. what we think might be contributing to the problem, and
b. what can I (meaning YOU if you are the poster of the description of your anger) DO to help the situation
Many things that frustrate us may be accidental by the purported perpetrator! Just as our own angry response may be somewhat surprising to us. We don't intend to blow up and may even be disappointed when we do.
So, at the end of each day, if I can look at myself - not to find blame OR excuse for my response to some difficult situation - and reflect on how I might be able to respond differently to a person or a situation, then I can make progress with the only person I can really control!
We can give ourselves and one another the 'benefit of the doubt' without trying to assign 'cause' for everything (eg. he looked at me funny so he must have been laughing inside about the way I look or dress or talk). See how we can make stuff up in our minds when we really do have absolutely NO IDEA what is happening?!
Here goes - let's see what we can learn about our 'Accidental Anger', presuming some level of innocence in our responses, until proven otherwise - but that is left for another blog. And while I say 'we', I'll share regularly things that I am learning about and invite others to participate in the conversation!
Peace, B
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